What to Believe?

What to Believe?

Let me preface this story by saying that it is a true story and a prime example of the games and/or scams Filipinas play. THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU... Read it and feel free to leave your comments afterwards.

Hi, I'm a little confused at the moment and I'm not sure who to talk to or discuss this with so I thought maybe I can post here since some guys here might be able to relate to my concerns.

I will keep it as simple as possible otherwise it could take hours to write everything...

I was engaged to a girl in the Philippines a few years ago but it has sometimes been not your typical relationship. I’m 50, she mid 20's now. Before I came back to Aus I decided to pay for her to go to school and get education. So I paid around $500 for her first term and sent her about 5,000 pesos per month so she could pay for her transport, food and school activity costs. She has never come across as money hungry or materialistic since I have known her. I have only ever given her just enough to get by when I'm there with her. I even offered to rent her a home close to her school but she declined as she said she was OK traveling back to her province each day. If she wanted to scam me she could pretend to get a place and scam me to send money for that each month.

She has always been a genuine and caring person to me and she was never interested in parties, dressing in skimpy clothes or flirts etc.

I once noticed a photo of her on Facebook with a young guy where he was kissing her on the cheek. Then I looked at his profile and he had her pic on his profile. I asked her about it but she insisted it was her cousin and brushed it off as silly and he had a crush on her. I looked closer and I could see a very close resemblance and she affirmed I had nothing to worry about. I believed her.

A few months ago I see that her Facebook account was no longer showing on my friends list. I had noticed she had not used FB for quite some time anyway as she said she did not have time anymore since going to school.

A foreigner friend contacted me recently who has been screwed over by his wife in the west and is very anti marriage etc and always goes on about how he will not let a woman screw him over again etc and warns me that his Filipino female friend (who we both know) said that my GF is married to a Pinoy guy now on FB. So I confronted my gf about this and she denies it. I believed her but still thought I better check it out more when I get time. So a few days ago I logged into Facebook with my friends account and found my gf's profile easily and realized her account was blocking my account from seeing it. Her page has most stuff not showing anymore at least publically but all I could see now is:

Relationship Status: Married to "Cousins Name" (date earlier this year) (his account had also blocked my account from seeing his)


There was just one photo of her on the page and her new background photo which a large photo of her kissing a baby that looked a little like her and there seemed to be a connection. That was posted in April.

So now I'm thinking she had a baby and may even be married or is in a relationship with this young guy she calls a cousin.

So I guess most people are thinking yes your been screwed here.

I was pretty shocked to see this.

But I'm not a noob to the Philippines and have had a number of relationships there and have been visiting the place quite often for years. I'm well aware of the ones who scam the foreigner while they have their real boyfriend.

I would never think she would do this, she just seems too genuine and sincere and I'm the type of person who sees everything around me, notice details etc not a guy just looking straight ahead in ignorance of everything around him.

I turned off my phone yesterday after thinking what I would do about this. She was also expecting her monthly payment I was going to send her but instead I turned my phone off and I was never going to turn it on or communicate with her again.

But I put my sim back in this evening and seen her texts saying she tried to contact me but my phone was off and she was worried for me.

I decided to call her and confront her. She sounded relieved I had called her and said she was very worried about me.

I then told her the reason and what I had discovered on Facebook etc, about this baby and this cousin.

She of course said no it's not true and said that she had not even logged into FB for a long time.

She has been going to school trips etc regularly over the time she has been going to school this year. So I have told her she needs to get some school trip photos of her class mates and post them to me so I can see some proof of her going to school.

What she says to me and her voice sounds like she is telling the truth and does not have a baby and she cried when I asked about this and insisted she does not have baby and I'm her only baby.

I want to believe her as I have put a lot into this relationship to make it work but after seeing this Facebook page I told her she needs to prove to me that she does not have a baby and this cousin is not her boyfriend.

Please, instead of mocking me or telling me how much I have been duped or what an idiot I am just give her a chance and offer some suggestions on how she can prove to me that she is genuine? I'm just as sceptical as you but on the other hand I have lived and breathed nearly 4 years with her and I thought I know her well, a very nice girl.

What I’m thinking is along the lines of getting her sending me some documents like photos of her at school over last 6 months. A letter from her teacher. An attendance record so I can see if she had time off to go to hospital and have baby.

Any other ideas on how to get proof she is genuine? That would be most helpful right now, thanks in advance,