Are you thinking that a Filipino woman would be perfect for a second chance at love, and companionship. That a young beautiful Asian woman is romantic, sexy, and that a new life with this woman is a dream come true. Well there are many websites out there that are making a lot of money selling you on this dream.
The reality to a successful Fil-West marriage is a bit harder to find that you might think. This is not a bash of Filipina women or the Filipino Culture. This is only a true story of one relationship that went wrong. I am not angry or embittered. I only want to open the eyes of some men who might be glossing over a long distance relationship with a woman from the Philippines.
Thousands of men are marrying women from the Philippines each and every year. Most are thinking that it will be an ideal situation. Its not everyday that an average western guy can marry a younger beautiful Asian woman. Also, most of the websites out on the web have some interest or stake in promoting these unions and definitely gloss over any negative aspects that come from such marriages. My goal is to not promote any negative stereotypes, but to educate the common man who is strongly considering marrying a woman from the Philippines.
Notice from the poll how many people find this topic offensive. The reality is that over 1 Million Filipinos leave their country each year. 1/3 of the Philippines gross domestic product is from money sent back. Unfortunately, many will do and say most anything to get into a more promising situation. Some are highly educated professionals in their respective fields, but many will work as domestic workers or a few as prostitutes in Hong Kong or other Asian countries. This inherently does not make Filipinos a bad people, but is a very hot topic, and I can not reply to all the emails from people who want me to shut this site down. Life all around the world is tied to money.
I am not going to create an all promising or hard sell here. I have my story. I feel strongly that other men need to know some of the risks with marrying and immigrating a woman from the Philippines. A two week vacation or a K-1 Visa that only allows you 90 days to really get to know a person is not enough time for their true personality to come out. You need more preparation.
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Have been victimized by a few girls from the Philippines. In particular, those who have fake, free profiles from website Filipinaheart.com. I made several complaints regarding woman who place fake pictures and profiles to attract attention to which the website responds with a refusal to remove such people from the site. Recently, I was in correspondence with one JANICE KASPA who I would speak to over the phone. She refused to go on webcam so I decided to send her money to purchase a webcam. She would take the money and would claim the webcam doesnt work. I believed her. After two months I decided I would want to meet her during my next visit to the Philippines. Claiming she was from General Santos City, I sent her money thru Western Union to purchase a plane ticket. A few hours after she took the money, I spoke to her and she had a story of how she was just robbed and her purse stolen. She claimed to be at the police station, so I asked to speak to a police officer. She hung up the phone. Never heard from her again. I went back on Filipinaheart, and sure enough a new profile was created using her friends name Laila Mae Lapang, using same fake pictures she emailed me. Beware of these SCAMMERS. No webcam, dont even bother with them.
You should note that these SCAMS happen on ALL the Filipina Date Sites including "Date In Asia", "Cebuana", "Asians To Date", etc. BEWARE !!!!
I met Marjorie A. Erezo in December 2009 on Cherry Blossoms. We became friendly overnight. We exchanged phone numbers, email addresses, and yahoo messenger IDs. We talked literally every day, sometimes several times a day. My cell phone bill for this period was about $600.00. She gave my an unusual story about not having any family and living alone, and just losing her job, so she was looking for another job. After a short while, we decided to meet. Since we talked every day, a lot transpired. Well, she asked me to send her money to get a Visitor’s Visa. I told her about another woman that got me also. She told me that she was not like that and that she was going to send me receipts and make sure that I was informed of every step of the way. OK, I send her money to get a visa. One thing, another, and another, and I were very quickly in over $5,000.00. Extra expenses, bank money, pesos bank account, US dollar bank account, and it was up to a point of no return. At the same time that I was sending more money, she kept telling me that she was going to send receipts the next time. In January, 2010, I told her that there was no more money. Yet, she said that we were almost there. She said that she had gotten the passport and was waiting on an interview for the visa. She told me that she forgot to scan a copy of the passport. After more questions for me, she told me that the interviewer wanted her to have the two separate accounts, one in US dollars and one in Pesos. Then she said that the interviewer told her to get a ticket with Continental and for departure on a certain day. The price for the ticket for this was higher than other air lines. Also, she told me that the ticket agency was charging $400 to $500.00 more than what I told her I saw on the internet. More money. She told me that she was going to fly out on January 25, then January 30, then February 4th. February 4th came and went, but no communication from her at all. We went from talking multiple times a day and night, every day and night, to no communication at all. She did not respond to my calls, texts, emails, or yahoo messages. Nothing. I called her from another phone on February 6, and she answered. When she realized it was me, she hung up the phone. I contacted Cherry Blossoms and they deactivated her profile. I see a lot of deactivated profiles on that site. I suppose they are scammers also. I contacted the Philippine National Police and reported this. She goes by the name of Marjorie A Erezo, and supposedly lives in Quezon City, her phone number is 011 639 284 574 362. She has not answered my calls or any other form of communication since before February 4th. Total spend on her was $5,825.00including fees and charges for Western Union and Money Gram.
I chatted to a lot of filipina ladies, but when it came to money I just deleted them,but one night in a Filipina chat site, one young lady got the best of me. we went to yahoo to chat
we opened up our web cams and started talking, her name on her id was cristy_ann, we started a nice repore then she started to work on me, knowing I was planning to marry a filipian lady , she gave me her phone number to call her, but I didnt have international calling on my phone, we met just about the same time every night my time, she had all the right words to say to me. and she used them against me knowing what I was looking for, she promised she wasn’t a scammer, and wasn’t like other ladies that try to scam men, she wanted me to send her money for the cafe’.this was after a few days of chatting. so I asked my friend who just moved to the Philippines in April of this year after he met his new wife on a Filipina chat room, I asked him while he was talking to her from the states if he ever sent her money to chat he said yes, so I said what the heck, I told cristy_ann I needed her real name and address to send the money by Western Union. and most people don’t use there given in yahoo chat, she told me her name was Romelyn , still at this point I had no reason to doubt her, so I sent her $45 dollars. lets say she took me for a three months ride chatting with her every night. then came the love words, and believe me she was good doing it playing on my emotions ex. I love you,it would be a honor to marry you, wish you can come here over the Christmas Holidays to visit me and my family, get the point….I guess you can say I was love struck.
she even brought her two younger sisters on cam to see me, she would say why would I scamm you if I gave you my phone number and brought my sisters to see me on cam.. I’ll be honest she got me for some more money, over the three months, and I was planning to move there the comming year 09″ to get married, met her on June 5,08 til September 15, 08′ was the last time she ever chatted and called me, I told my friend in the Philippnes I know I just got scammed, so his wife looked on Friendster after I gave her the name Romelyn, plus his wife knew what she looked like from the pic I sent her,behold Romelyn wasn’t the girl I met as cristy_ann,, both Romelyn, and cristy ann were two different sisters, they both had web sites on Friendster . so they were both working on me at the same time, I never met Romelyn before, but this finding didnt come in time til after she stopped chatting and calling me,,she change the simms card on her phone, so I caouldn’t call her to find out what happend that she stopped chatting, remember this all took placebrfore I found friendster, I think she started to realize towards the end , I started to pick up on the scamm but was to late for me the damage was done,, my friends wife try texting her and e-mailling her to at least write me and apologize, but we all know that wasnt going to happen, so after looking at over 100 pics she had on her site, I relized she never was at a cafe’ from the start, she was in a house In surigao del sur,Tagbina which was the address she gave me to wire the money. but thwere is more to this story, after my head cleared up somewhat. I did doubt her in the beginning, but she must have learned these scamm from someone because she played me to the end.tonight after two weks of not hearing frome her, I get on my computer after work and saw a off-line message, the ID I didnt know so I cliked on the message and it read”How is life now im back after two weeks you surprised hehehehe”. she is using a different ID now on yahoo to scamm other men, but when I put the ID that she used to send the off-line messages yahoo didn’t reconized the name, like I said she and her sisters are good at this, so I am at the point how can I believe what another Filipina lady tells me even if she doesnt ask for money, all the powerful words cristy used on me would make any man believe what she was telling them ” dont leave me” I love you so much, I miss you everynight, my mom said as long as im happy she is happy, like I said lots of woman asked for money but I never sent it, but crity ann, got my money, Western Union wants to hear from me about this scam, along with the FBI, so I will let you good people know what happends next, since I have the addresses, pictures, yahoo IM she sent,and all the control numbers for the time I sent her money, she did a good head job on me to be honest,,,live and learn
I want to tell my story here because I am so angry. I will not tell my real name and you can believe me or not, up to you. I was in Harrison Plaza in Manila in January of 2012. I was approached by two very sweet Filipinas who asked me f I wanted to have a date with them. I chose the one with the short, bobbed hair who said her name was Crystal. Her frind Jingy asked to come too but I didn’t want her as she was dumpy and not very pretty. We took a taxi to Sogo in Malate and took a room there and we got undressed. Crystal went for a shower and I was lying ont he bed and there was a knockont he door and someone said room service. I hadn’t ordered anything yet so I thought it was the bellhop wanting to make a tip. I opened the door and three Filipino men barged in. They were tough looking types in loose barong shirts and I could see they had guns under the shirts. One flashed a badge that looked pretty real and told me I was under arrest for having sex with a minor. Crystal came out of the bathroom and she was still fully dressed and the cops told her in Tagalog to leave the room. They closed the door and I was alone with these three cops and I was pretty scared. They told me she was only 16 and I was under arrest because it is illegal to go to a hotel room with a girl of 16, even though the age of consent is 16, if you are more than ten years older than her. I am 47 so I was screwed, so to speak.
I said we had not had sex, she was still dressed and they could tell from the front desk we had only got there a few minutes ago. Not only that I had not handed the girl any money and so they could not charge either of us with prostitution. I said either arrest me and call General Bartolome who was a personal friend, or I am walking out of there right now. The first cop told me I was under arrest and repeated what he said before, then said if I paid the fine now I could go. I asked how much was the fine and he said US$1,000. I laughed and told him I didn’t have P1,000 on me but I did have General Bartolome’s number on my cell phone. I reached for my phone and showed them the number next to the name ‘Gen Bartolome Dir Gen PNP’. I saw them hesitate so I told them to get out right now and I would forget the whole thing. I thought of telling them to send my girl back in but why push it?
They apologised and left. I sat in the room for maybe ten or twenty minutes shaking like a leaf, then I left and never went back there or Harrison Plaza. My advice, use Wikipedia to find the name of the current Director General of the Philippines National Police and put his name in your cell phone. The number next to it was just the switchboard at Camp Crame but those cops probably don’t call their boss too often to know otherwise!
When I walked outside as I got into a cab Crystal came up to me and said she was sorry, the cops made her do it. I said I’d forgive her if she got in the cab and she did. She told me the other girl was supposed to be in the room as well to make sure there was a witness and to delay any action till the cops showed. Only the first cop was a real cop, the other two were his cousins but they all had guns and they sometimes got nasty with the girls and the johns. She said the cop made a lot of money doing this on his off duty hours so beware.
Since then I still freelance but now I approach the girls. You always know they are up for it by the way they look at you. I choose the hotel and the cab and I always ask if the girl is over 18, even though most probably lie. I take a photo on my cellphone and tell them if they are setting me up then my friend General Bartolome will get them, then I show them his phone number and a photo of him in uniform I took from the web site of the PNP. Never had a problem and I have a lovely collection of my girlfriend’s photos, all dressed of course.
Girl, 10, dies after being turned away from hospital
The internet provides us with anonymity. Though this is a good thing in terms of voicing out your opinion, it is also the main reason why a number of scams exist. People use the internet to hide their identities. If you have been using the World Wide Web for quite some time, you may be aware of some shady practices that can get you into trouble. In fact, some scams online are intricately planned, to the point where it looks legitimate at times.
Here are some of those scams that you might want to avoid.
Sulit Laptop Scam
Sulit has been a household name for those trying to sell. Whether you are selling pre-loved shoes in your house, you can place it on Sulit to get a potential buyer. For those selling their laptop, they may get an unusual email from Nigeria.
It Happens When: The scam goes where the seller will receive an email that he needs to ship the laptop to Nigeria. They then let tell you that the payment will be coming once you sent the laptop to a certain address that they will provide.
How to Avoid It: If you are selling an item, everything should be shouldered by the buyer. In fact, for some meet ups, the seller asks for an additional fee.
PayPal Conversion Scam
PayPal’s partner in the Philippines is Union Bank. For those with no EON card, it is impossible to get your money with minimal charge. What’s the alternative to getting your money from PayPal? You may not be able to get it with the most reasonable price.
It Happens When: There are some people who will claim that they will give you cash in exchange of your PayPal funds. With those ads posted on Sulit, they claim to buy your PayPal funds with a given exchange rate. They usually ask you to buy from them online, and in exchange you get the conversion of your PayPal funds. Once you’ve purchased an item for them online, they will most likely deactivate their Sulit Account along with your line of communication.
How to Avoid It: Just go get an EON card. It is the simplest and most convenient way of getting your cash from PayPal.
Dating Scams Online
Thanks to the internet, it is possible to find someone special through dating sites. Though there are people who actually met their significant other through this channel, there are also those who just met a scammer.
It Happens When: For those who are lonely, they risk going to dating sites, meeting new people who they can fall in love with. There are some scammers who are taking advantage of this, asking money from other users. Some scammers ask money from the victims in order to buy a webcam or for them to pay for some sick relative. The story goes on and on and even more complicated than usual. By the end of it all, it is common that these scammers would ask their victim to send money via Western Union, and other money transfer means.
How to Avoid It: Do not send money whenever you are dating online. Keep in mind that true love is free, well, except for the dates, travel fees and other expenses. Other than that, there is no price tag to falling in love.
MLM/Networking scams happen most of the time outside the house. However, they most often establish rapport through online means or through texts. They invite people to a business meeting often times asking them to dress in smart casual attire. Sounds legit? Some perform their “business meetings” on fast food restaurants from Jollibee to KFC for hours.
It Happens When: They usually won’t say what their product is about on the email but rather state that they are looking for a business partner who they can share their blessings with etc. Once you are there, you will be offered products with exorbitant prices that you then have to sell. Just imagine paying P20,000 worth of items that you could actually buy for a fraction of a price? It could be health related or even beauty products. You name it. It is also common that they use “legit” testimonials or even name drop celebrities to attest to their product’s effectiveness. Also, it is common that they show off success stories of people who stayed with them, who now drive a nice car.
How to Avoid It: Be reasonable. Who do you think would buy overpriced items? Also, can you stomach going to your loved ones selling them with goods that you know are overpriced? Also, remember that there is no short cut to success. These networking businesses typically offer fast financial security with minimal sweat, under the guise of “working smart”.
The internet allowed us to stay connected with each other. Because of this, there are businesses that are now operating solely online. Lowering the overhead cost, this paved way for outsourcing and real opportunities. However, there are some scams disguised as work-at-home opportunities.
It Happens When: Who wants to earn money while sitting comfortably at home? Well, everyone would love that. The problem with this, is that they don’t say that you will be the one buying the supplies, paying for the newspaper ads, and doing all the trouble for a minimal pay. There are a number of legitimate work-at-home opportunities though. Web designers, developers, copywriters and even some call center agents now enjoy the perks of the internet working for legit stay-at-home jobs. Just keep in mind that if you are going to have to pay, then maybe there is a problem.
Do a bit of research. You may want to go to sites such as Freelancer, and oDesk to get some work at home gigs.
One of the best ways on how you can get precious items is via auction. Through auction, collectible items are typically sold. This is the best way to get an item that is rare. In fact, designer bags and other similar items are sold on this platform.
It Happens When: When you get an item that is not exactly what is described, now that is already a scam. There are cases in the US where an $18,000 Louis Vuitton bag turned out to be a knock off item.
How to Avoid It: You need to make sure that you look at the comments and feedback of a seller, especially on eBay, Sulit or any other e-commerce site.
People are sometimes eager to click on links that they see on their emails. What they don’t know is that this could lead towards identity theft. People sometimes forget that they should also not enter their bank or credit card information on sites that look dubious.
It Happens When: Ever received an email where you are told that something went wrong with your bank account? If you will look at the email, everything looks legit from the logos to the way the sentences were constructed; everything seemed to come from legitimate sources. However, when you get to the link, you will be asked to enter your information data. This is how they get your money.
How to Avoid It: Just ignore the emails. Banks will call you if ever it involves your security. Also, you can always verify with your bank first when you receive these emails. Make sure you are on a secured website.
Fund Transfer Scam
People can be greedy. When people are faced with large figures, they sometimes throw their logic out of the window. This is where the fund transfer scam happens.
It Happens When: Ever received an email, more commonly, from Nigeria that tells you about a story that he needs an accomplice in order to launder huge amounts of money? According to the email, it is worth millions. Of course, the greedy person in you may actually consider it. The catch, you need to come up with an initial fee that will be used to finalize the transaction, such as bribe people who needs to be bribed. Paying upfront, you will never get the money that you thought you are going to get.
How to Avoid It: Do not send money to anyone you do not know. Also, you need to be reasonable and control your greed.
There are a lot of contests where you could win online. When you are offered by free items, people hardly say no. This is the whole principle why this scam is also successful. The bottom line is that people love free stuff. You could tell them that they won despite not joining anything.
It Happens When: Ever had an experience where you get an email, that you actually won an item. It could be an iPod, Xbox, PS3 or now PS4. You will be told that you won via electronic raffle and your email has been picked. What do you need to do to claim your prize? Well, you just have to go to a certain website where you have to fill in your debit card or bank information in your address. Now, do you get an item in your mailbox? Not really. You just get unexplained charges from different parts of the world. There is a chance that you have to pay for all of this, unless you dispute the charges.
How to Avoid It: You will never win if you didn’t join anything. Also, do not ever give your bank details to anyone, especially to dubious websites.
Wi-Fi Hot Spot Scam
People use the internet most of the time. They actually go online in order to check their emails or to even buy a number of things. What if you suddenly have your information stolen because of these connections?
It Happens When: Free seems to make us go crazy over something. In fact, people love to connect to a free Wi-Fi connection. What most people do not know is that these connections leave you vulnerable to hackers. They could be mining your credit card information when you log on to those Wi-Fi connections.
How to Avoid It: What you want to make sure is to only use legitimate connections from a coffee shop or from the establishment.
There are a lot of online scams today. In fact, they keep on adapting in order to get more victims. What you want to do is to always be vigilant. Is it easy money? Does it involve you paying upfront? Lastly, is it too good to be true? These are some questions that you may want to ask first before ever considering a gig or an offer. Think before clicking.
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BACK TO BASICS:
If you have a lady who claims she is 100% loyal to you, and says that she has closed up her account in the Pen-Pal Club you met in, then for God Sake use the most basic tool available to you. After you have learned her name (first and last) and the city she is currently in, as well as the city and province she is originally from, then GOOGLE her! She may change her last name, but try various combinations, using the information she has told you. Most often, you can find her by simply searching her first name and her city or cities. You may be shocked to find that she has accounts in MANY different internet clubs! Ladies who know how to scam often have numerous web-based email accounts, so don't be afraid to GOOGLE her email addresses also!. Try this same technique using many different search engines. If she is serious to you, then it would be reasonable to ask her to delete any and all Pen Pal and/or Matrimonial Club or Service Profiles. (HINT: should you find she has other profiles on the internet, instead of confronting her immediately, you might wish to ask her if she has any other profiles or if she has closed all profiles she has. This will also serve as a good indicator as to whether she is frank and honest to you.)
THE SCAM: THE CLONE
It seems that in the Philippines the name does not have to be “exactly” as it is on her identification, as long as the confirm number is correct and exact. For example only: Lets say you have a lady named “Janna” who says the lives in Cebu, (her profile says she is 24 yrs old, 5‘1” tall); Then there is “Janice” in Zamboanga (who‘s profile says she is 5‘7” tall); and Janeese in Manila, (who‘s profile says she is 5‘4” tall) (Or even Just “Jan“). And let’s suppose the family (last) names are also somewhat similar, such as Roblas, Robler or Nobles. (Or anything similar).
There are usually other slight differences in the profiles as well, such as different heights, weights, Occupation and education. For purposes of this scam, these variables are not important, we must focus on the NAMES, especially if there are any similarities. Also, be sure to examine the photos closely because sometimes she will use her own photos with different dress and hairstyles.
One is not Enough
This case will definitely give you something to think about concerning scammers. Early on, the client involved here expressed his concern, wanting to have peace of mind about a girl he has been in communication with for more than two years. We have been compiling information on this young lady for a short while now. If she only knew.
Meet Miss, (or is that Mrs.?) Ronielyn Rosal (goes by Lyn), aged 24 and single? Lyn met our client on the internet. (What do I always say about meeting girls on the internet, guys?)
The client stated in an early email to me:
"Met her on the internet. She was internet café every day. (Some how, she paid to be at internet café even though she had no job.) Talked to me every day, conversation always came around to money. I told her if she wasn't interested in building love, I didn't want to talk with her. We didn't talk 3 months, she constantly messaged and emailed, finally when she threatened to kill herself, I agreed to talk to her more. She stopped asking for money. She moved to a boarding house in Cebu (address on file with PMC). Says she goes to church very Sunday, and talks to me at Extreme Internet Café after. Constantly Chikka messages me on her cell."
You see, this gentleman was planning to come here to see Ronielyn Rosal, to verify if she was a suitable mate for him, to possibly marry her. However, the one thing that saved him was the love for his child. Allow me to explain. Our client wanted to make sure, quite certain in fact, that the future step mother of this child would be a quality individual. So, in not truly knowing the girl he has been communicating with, for all this time, he wanted to make sure that he had peace of mind, prior to spending almost countless dollars on plane fare, meals, vehicle travel, lodging, and then later visas, clearances, St. Luke's physical, etc. to take this woman to the states.
Of course, this gentleman didn't send Ronielyn Rosal a lot of money, only totaling around $300 USD at most. We know others who have lost much, much more than that to Filipina scammers.
PMC scheduled a time to meet Lyn, and got directions from her in order to meet up during the day at her residence. PMC showed up, having followed the directions given. We found the place where she lived, quite easily. It is a boarding house with a sari-sari store in front. (see photos, above) She supposedly was renting a room in the back. When we arrived, there was an old woman watching the store. PMC asked the lady if she knew a woman named Lyn, who has a foreigner boyfriend. She said (in Cebuano), “Yes I know Lyn but she is married and has kids. In fact her real name is Ronielyn.” We told the old lady, “Okay. That might not be her.”
A bit later, a young girl came outside, from the white gate adjacent to the store, letting us know that Ronielyn wasn't there because she went to the internet café.
We decided to ring Ronielyn's cell phone to make sure that we were at the right place. She answered the phone and said, “I am still at the internet café chatting with my boyfriend. I will be on the way to my place shortly.” About 15 minutes later, a lady showed up in front of us identifying herself as Lyn. PMC knew it was Lyn, because the client had sent us ample photos of her. PMC asked her how she showed up so quickly in front of us, as we didn’t notice her getting off a Jeepney, out of a taxi, or by walking up from the road. (Their place is just beside the road, in Mandaue City.) Instead, we saw her coming out from the white gated door adjacent to the sari-sari store. (See photo above, with the girl marked in red square.) Ronielyn Rosal simply replied, "I passed by the side gate." However, as you can see in the photo above, someone else was where she stated she had arrived from ... PMC. We had the camera in hand and took it as Ronielyn had just exited the gate to meet us.
Incidentally, the old lady who was originally watching the store, went inside and never came back out while we were there. There may be many reasons for this, and we can tell you why she didn't, in this case. She was embarrassed because she knew she had screwed up by giving us the information on Ronielyn Rosal. Is there a traitor in the midst, Ronielyn?
We chatted for a while and we wondered why Ronielyn was so defensive. While talking with her in general conversation, all of a sudden she blurted out, “I’m not chatting with anybody else online!” PMC replied, “We don’t care if you are or not. That is your business to deal with, not ours.” (Here, the guilty dog barked without ever having to be asked.) Oh, did we mention, upon Ronielyn coming out of the house to meet us, her hair was still wet? Hmm ... an internet café and shower? In my best Judy Tenuta voice, "It could happen!"
Anyway, after our meeting with Ronielyn Rosal, we met online with our client, letting him know the good (or bad, depending on how you look at it) news concerning his case. Ronielyn Rosal made it a point to text our client, letting him know that he should not use PMC as a guide service when he comes to the Philippines. You see, prior to this investigation someone had recommended us to the client, that he should seek our help upon arriving in Cebu. PMC could help him to become acclimated with the city and people of Cebu. After he mentioned this to Ronielyn Rosal, she wasn't overly happy about it.
Additionally, she told him that he would not be able to stay in her boarding house, as it was for girls only. In all actuality she left out a minor inconvenience. That was, there would be no room for the client in the boarding house, with Ronielyn's husband and children sharing the same space! The boarding house seems to be co-ed to me!
PLEASE NOTE: We don't know how many other guys Ronielyn Rosal may be scamming, or attempting to scam. However, she is, most definitely, using a computer from her home. She does not go to an internet café to communicate with them. Instead, she tells them that she is talking to them from a private room in the café.
Okay Ronielyn Rosal. You had better check out who is next on the list of possible targets for you. Because, this gentleman will be finding a good girl now, one who is truly worthy of him and his child. But it won't be you, dear. While you are still going there, we are well on the way back.__________________________________________________________________________________________________
It Runs In The Family
Here is a local case (provincial area) that my partner had an early feeling about. I have to admit, we both were wondering if she was no good by the time the actual interview came up. We had other information that we were waiting on, but had not received it at the time of this conversation. Of course, we didn't want to prejudge this girl, as she may have just been a very anxious Filipina, only wanting to see her gifts, which we were taking to her.
Later though, the girl became almost infantile because we were unable to meet her at "her" scheduled time one day. We were about 65 kilometers from her at the time of our first communication. So, we couldn't meet then, instead setting up the meeting for the following day. She agreed.
Now, on the following day, and after sending us a text message indicating to us that she would gladly meet us, a short time later she sent a text, "If you don't tell me what the surprise is, I won't meet you." I simply replied with, "That's okay. We will contact the client and let him know you refused the delivery." She just had to know what was sent, and why it wasn't sent directly to her, rather than through a courier. With us calling her bluff again, she agreed.
Anyway, our client had encountered a few 'bad' relationships in the past, and only wanted to make sure this one girl was being on the level with him, before getting too involved with her. He wanted assurance that she didn't want to be with him solely for money. Please read on.
This young woman had learned from her aunt, how to get to the US in the 'proper' manner. You see, her aunt had married an American some time before, only to later convince him take her to the states. This gentleman then put the aunt through nursing school, helped her graduate and then secure a good job. She repaid him by simply walking away from him and their life together.
We learned the aunt had a Filipino boyfriend (who was still in the Philippines, at the time), for whom she intended to obtain a visa in order to get him to the US to be with her. She succeeded. So, at the expense of some guy who just didn't know his girl before marriage, she was bank rolled the beginnings of a good life for both her and her boyfriend. This left the guy with nothing but sad memories, and a lighter wallet.
Now, back to the niece who would gladly follow in her aunt's footsteps. Her intention was to marry our client (Canadian), have him pay her way through school, then only to divorce him so she could be with her aunt to the states! This would leave the Canadian gentleman high and dry... or so she thought. But, unbeknownst to her, she was nailed.
We know eventually, this girl may hook up with a foreigner solely because she wants to go to the US. She definitely has no desire to go abroad for love. Unfortunately, I doubt she, or those like her ever will change. It's just too easy for some girls to get money from a guy (or multiple guys at once) without a lifetime commitment being anywhere in the picture.
Incidentally, early in the conversation my partner had with this young woman, the girl suggested that my partner should, "Find another one (foreigner), who will take you to the states." My partner told her prior, that we had no money to leave the Philippines. I guess true love just can't be the reason for two people to stay together anymore.
The girl in the case above: Miss Rosemarie M. Caminero__________________________________________________________________________________________________
The School Teacher
We just returned from Mindanao where this case took place. You know, sometimes, after communicating with a client, we almost instinctively have a positive feeling about a girl, as was in this case. In fact, I made it a point to tell him that same thing, after gathering everything he had to give us, concerning himself and his relationship with her. Note: This goes back to that little voice inside each of us, which is generally a good judge of a given situation, and those involved in it.
Anyway, I have been communicating with this gentleman for about two months. He had originally contacted me through someone else, who suggested he talk with us about his, then fiancée (another girl in the Philippines, but not the one in this case). I had communicated with him for a short while concerning the previous girl. It didn't take long to figure out the previous fiancée was bad, without ever having seen her. But, we had a different feeling about this lady, almost immediately. Our client, having been nailed hard by the previous girl, found it difficult to trust any woman from that point. So, he was not 100% sure of this lady. He contacted us to see if my partner and I could go to a small town in northern Mindanao, in order to interview her. After communicating with him and retrieving the information needed to begin, we headed out to Mindanao, for more research and the interview.
We originally were supposed to arrive there early that morning. However, due to delays from a previous stop, we didn't arrive until early afternoon (13:30 GMT +8) that day. So, we weren't sure if we would even be able to locate her, as we had other preparations to make prior to meeting her for the interview. Fortunately, after we checked into the hotel, got a shower, and took care of the other arrangements needed (prior to our meeting), we were able to contact her.
She agreed to meet at a local restaurant and talk for a while. (In this case, the client had asked us, specifically, if we could meet her family and get a better assessment of her, as she had given him information that could be contradictory to what we may have found there.) Anyway, the client contacted his fiancée ahead of time, letting her know he knew someone who would be in town to visit. He made arrangements for her to meet with us and then take us to her home. Upon arriving, we were immediately welcomed by these folks and sat down for a long talk through mid-afternoon and into the early evening. This of course, included a nice Filipino meal we had picked up in town, prior to heading to her home.
During the conversation with her, we found that she had taken on many added responsibilities (which many Filipinas do) for her family. She is a school teacher by day and a mother by night. You see, her children are actually her niece and nephew, not her own. So, she had gone above and beyond in order to take care of them, as well as her own mother who is aging now. This is one of the many things we found out through our preliminary research, and during our lengthy interview with her. She has also never even had a boyfriend, believe it, or not.
In short, this whole family is good as gold, unlike some cases we have had in the past, where "scamming" even seems to run in the family. After spending quite a few hours with her and her family, in their warm home, we both had come to the same conclusion about her. Our client is a winner with this lady. PMC wishes them the best.__________________________________________________________________________________________________
The Misinterpreted View
A young man recently contacted me through a bulletin board (BBS), of which I am a member. At first, he and I were simply communicating about relationships, filing of marriage applications and about the requirements of having a civil ceremony. (These are services we offer through another website, which he knew about at the time.) He was talking about how happy he was with his girl, and how he wanted to have the perfect wedding, etc. for her. Then, we got off the topic a bit (how about 180°!), and he started talking about how he didn't really trust her. At this point I became confused, quite confused.
This client, on one hand, was asking for advice on marriage and how to go about with the wedding, paperwork, etc., due to his love for this girl, yet, he felt like he didn't trust her. Well, I did what I always do ... I offered him my best advice, going by the information he gave me to work with. In my opinion, at the time anyway, I felt as though the girl may have been bad, but I wasn't sure. I didn't want to make a harsh judgment on anyone, especially since I wasn't feeling right about the information given to us. Of course, I have seen so many scammers in the past and how they work. So, I definitely wasn't sure myself.
The client and I continued swapping e-mails over the course of about a week, the whole time I was gathering information needed for this case. He finally decided that he wanted us to check out his girlfriend. So we agreed to a price and I scheduled a trip to another province in the Visayas. Everything went wonderfully for PMC. In fact, the timing could not have been better. We arrived at the perfect time, and she happened to be in town at the time. So, we were able to meet up with her within just a few hours of our actual arrival there.
We knew we needed to agree to meet in a public place. So, we chose to meet at the ever so popular, local Jollibee. For those of you who do not know, it is the "McDonald's" of the Philippines. Anyway, we met there about 11am. Of course, there was one minor problem in this case... the girl wasn't anything like the client had thought, at all. We soon determined what was wrong in this relationship. That is, the client had basically misunderstood the actions of the one he loved. He needed some time to get to know the culture, and sharing our (western) culture with her. That was it, in a nut shell.
He seems to be basically a good guy, as I have spoken by phone, and communicated with him via e-mail on several occasions. However, he, like many foreigners before him, had two bridges yet to cross:
1. He is still new and learning about the Filipino culture, thus he simply misunderstood her actions and words.
2. He was self-admittedly insecure when it comes to his fiancée, resulting in him not trusting her.
I made it a point to talk with him about this, as I called him a little while after we had completed the interview. His fiancée had genuine reasons and explanations for their miscommunications, which he simply misinterpreted as lying. She was as genuine as a girl can get. I personally believe she has a good heart, and her intentions concerning her relationship with our client are quite genuine and true. PMC wishes them the best in their future together.__________________________________________________________________________________________________
The Internet Café
We just completed, what is possibly the shortest case we ever were summoned to work on. Our total time on the case was about two and a half hours.
We went to a home today to visit a Filipina, due to being contacted by a friend early that morning to see if we wanted a case to work on, which was right here in Cebu City.
I can say, we always want to prove if a girl is good, hopefully, over bad. So, we hope for the best. However, once someone contacts us wanting us to find information for them... it usually doesn't end up on a positive note. Think about it, if a guy is comfortable in his relationship, he wouldn't have a reason to contact us. However, if he's not... that's another story.
Anyway, we received all necessary information from our friend, including this Filipina's home address. We then enlisted the aid of a local taxi driver and drove to her home. Upon arriving, we found her brother and daughter in the place, which was a small business, an internet café which had recently opened. (Considering the building with recent paint, new computers, wires, internet connection, etc. there, it was quite obvious to us this was a new set up.) They also had an existing Sari-Sari store, which apparently had been in business for a while. There were about six computers inside, with an area for about another dozen or so more. So, they had future plans of expansion, as well.
After, we determined the lady wasn't there, due to speaking with the lady's brother. He said she was out shopping for their store (the sari-sari). We asked when the lady would return home. Her brother told us to give her about an hour, which would put her home about 4pm or so. Of course, on Filipino time, she could return in a week without worry. :)
During the conversation, the lady's daughter asked, "What is this foreigner bringing for my mother?" My partner replied, "Chocolate." The girl asked, "Is that all? No money?" The daughter then proceeded to plunder through the bag my partner held, to verify the contents ... only unwanted chocolate bars.
The brother wanted us to wait, so we did... for a while. I agreed for a few minutes, anyway. During this time, he attempted to use several low (or empty) SIM packs, to call the lady whom we were supposed to meet, to no avail.
We were going to wait for her to return from the market. After a short while though, I decided it would probably be much better just to leave and return later. However, considering the sensitivity of this case, I later decided it best not to return, but instead to call this lady by cell phone, after talking it over with my partner.
So, we told them we would leave and return in an hour or two, instead of waiting there for her to return. Just before leaving, the guy wanted a number to contact me, as he was under the impression that I was very new in the country. I told him I was staying with a friend in a nearby barangay, but did not know the number there. So, he wrote his cell number, as well as his sister's (the lady we were there to interview) cell phone, on a piece of paper for me to take with us. This way, I could contact her later to meet, if necessary. However, that would not be necessary, as we later learned. You see, we did end up calling the lady, to interview her directly.
We did not want to reveal our primary numbers. So, I purchased another Smart SIM pack to put in my phone. My partner contacted her from this number. Anyway, here is how the conversation went, verbatim, when my partner called her via cell phone, that afternoon (real names have been changed):
PMC: Hi, this is Jane I'm Rick's girlfriend. We went to your house to take you some chocolates from John.
Scammer: That's it? There is not other package or anything? No money?
PMC: No, Just chocolates. I know you don't want the chocolate, because it's only one bar.
Scammer: Yes, my daughter saw it. How long have you known Rick? How long has he been here?
PMC: I have known him for four months. He has been here for a couple of days only. The main reason we that we wanted to meet you, is my boyfriend wants to meet you because he knows John, from the US.
Scammer: Yes. I remember one time John said he had a friend who is going to come here, and John would come with him sometime in February. But John hooked back up with his ex-wife, and didn't come. He (John) is already old. But it's okay, as long as he (John) is sending me money to support my family. That is why I was able to buy computers and start an internet café. How about your boyfriend? Was he sending you money too, before he came here?
PMC: Well, he didn't send me money before he came here, but he gave me some after he arrived.
Scammer: That's no good. Why didn't you ask him for money when he was still in the states? At least he will not know where you spent it.
PMC: It's okay. Maybe he's going to give me some more money while he is staying here.
Scammer: I want to meet both of you. I prefer it to be in Ayala. It's much more convenient and there are some good restaurants, like the Majestic.
PMC: Okay, I will text you later, what we are going to do.
Scammer: Okay, bye.
So, once again, and we cannot stress this enough, please take your time when meeting someone online anywhere, not only those in the Philippines. There are scammers all over the world. The Philippines just happens to be the territory we cover. Also, from the simple, but accurate dialog above, as well as what we learned from her family, prior to meeting her, we could tell a few things about the Filipina in question:
1. She was a scam artist, without question.
2. She doesn't care, whatsoever, about the guy who is feeding her, as long as he is sending her dollars, preferably USD.
3. She's an advisor to other, less "informed" Filipinas, to help them become better at scamming unsuspecting foreigners.
4. She thought she had a nicely priced meal out on me (the unsuspecting foreigner), with the help of her new friend, Jane.
However, she was wrong. She was nailed from the beginning of the conversation, even before the interview started. She just didn't know it at the time. Of course, once she talks to her boyfriend in the states, John, she will know something wasn't right because he has never met me, nor has he asked me to give a woman I don't know, chocolate. Speaking of chocolate, you know where it went? Well, I can't say for sure. But, I saw my partner licking her lips later that afternoon, with a bit of chocolate on her face.
Over the course of six months, the client gave this woman more than $8,000 USD. Believe me, he's not by himself here. There are plenty of these guys who are fooled every single day. But, if you are a scammer... look out.__________________________________________________________________________________________________
The Flower Delivery
You know, some people will e-mail us, or post on lists or bulletin boards by attacking us and what we do here. They come off as holier than thou and believing that I do not like Filipinos. This simply is not true. If I didn't like Filipinos, I certainly wouldn't be living in the Philippines, and among so many of them. I love being around and accepted by Filipinos, especially those here in the Visayas, because they are the warmest people on the face of this planet. However, we are also being realistic when we say there are scammers here, just as there are in all countries in the world. We only focus on those in the Philippines, because it is our home, and where we work to help others.
Now, here is a case to show that all girls we meet are not bad. Since this gentleman was secure in his relationship, he had no need of our services. In fact, he had only hired us to deliver flowers for his fiancée, who was staying in Cebu at the time. So, this was a case that wasn't really supposed to happen at all. I'm quite sure he appreciated the reassurance of our delivery, as well as an e-mail I later dispatched to him.
Anyway, this gentleman and I started communicating some time back, via e-mail. He happened to mention that he needed a flower delivery, and wanted a place to deal with. I replied to him, letting him know this was one of the services we provided. I quoted him a price for the delivery, received his information and request and then set the date. We later made the delivery for him.
We contacted the young lady, asking where she lived so we could make a delivery to her, coming from her fiancé. She decided she would rather us meet in a local mall than in her home, which we did. Upon meeting her at the mall, she was pleasantly surprised to receive flowers and Toblerone chocolates (every Filipina's favorite, I believe). Anyway, we spoke with her for a short while, with my partner carrying on most of the conversation with her. During this conversation, my partner found out that young lady was a good-hearted Filipina, without question. This was without doing any other investigation whatsoever, on her. In fact, we later spoke about it on the way home.
Now, I will be the first to say we normally do not do this for anyone for free, as we are usually hired for the specific purpose of interviewing a Filipina, in order to find out similar information. But, since we were there for another reason, and it just happened to come up during the conversation, my partner spoke with her, finding out she was a good girl.
In addition, this gentleman and I had developed a friendship over time, and found out we had very similar backgrounds with 'previous' ex-wives. So, I wanted to tell him, just for the sake of doing so. When he received this information, he was as happy as a child in a candy store, to say the least.
So, while many of the cases may not produce wanted results, some will offer the best possible answer one could ever want. Furthermore, this proves to us if someone is happy in their relationship, they will know and have no possible reason to contact us for this sort of 'research'. However, if they are uncomfortable and believe the person they are involved with is not what they say they are, then there may be a reason to contact us for assistance. Like I have often said, trust your little voice inside. It will always be true to you.__________________________________________________________________________________________________
The Working Girl
Below is the event which caused us to decide to start doing interviews and investigations, in order to help others who may be scammed by some girls.
Late last year, In another province, we have one friend who wanted us to help him with something. Our friend Bob needed someone to assist him, so he could prove to another guy (Joe), that Joe's girl friend was no good. Bob knew this Filipina only wanted to milk Joe for what he was worth, then dump him afterward. Well, we got an opportunity to do just that. As a group, Bob and his girl, Joe and his girl, and my partner and myself all decided to spend the day together, set up by Bob.
Well, being true to form, Filipinas will always talk... telling each other things that many would never share with their husbands or boyfriends, ever. So, the guys hooked up and went off to talk, and the girls hooked up to talk amongst themselves. Anyway, while the guys were talking, my partner and Bob's girl were making Joe's girl feel easy by just talking away. After a very short time, this girl revealed much more information than most guys would need in order to find her out. However, this didn't end like we thought it would, surprisingly.
During their conversation, our girls (Bob's and my partner) found out that Joe's girl was all set in what she wanted. She had an agenda, no doubt. You see, she was a former bargirl (in Cebu City), where Joe had originally met her. I'm not sure if he bar-fined her prior to them ultimately dating or not, but I believe he had. Naturally, this isn't something that most guys willingly admit to others, if it is how they really met their girlfriend. I mean, think about it. How many guys would say, "Yep, I bar fined Vickie and we have been together ever since. She's a doll, the woman of my dreams."
Anyway, during the course of their short relationship (at the time), this Filipina had told Joe that she would not "work" any longer, since they were now together. He bought it, hook, line, and sinker. She made it a point to brag to my partner and to Bob's girl, that she was, in fact still working and that she had an Australian sending her about Php 19,000 per month, as well as the money Joe was sending her, which was about Php 6,000 if I recall.
In addition, she still retained her "working" cell phone so clients were still able to contact her, the phone Joe thought was long gone. Also, she made it a point to tell the other girls, she had intentions of going to Japan to be a prostitute, so she could make even more money. What a dream for any woman to have.
Her true intention was to talk Joe into building her family a home, before she would agree to marry him. Once the home was built, she would throw him out like yesterday's garbage.
After Joe was informed about this whole conversation, with my partner and the other girl being able to provide proof for him, Joe refused to believe it. What's worse is, he chose to believe a girl whom he had known for a couple of months, over a friendship he had for five years, with another foreigner. Naive? Gullible? Thinking with the wrong head? Most definitely, all of the above.
In summary, through the course of an afternoon, the girls found out the following (and was recorded on tape, for proof):
1. This Filipina was an active prostitute, while her man was away in his home country and sending her money.
2. This Filipina had another foreigner sending her Php 19,000 per month, in order for her to live on as well.
3. This Filipina had two cell phones, one for her beau, and one for customers. Her beau only knew of one.
4. This Filipina is a scammer, making money from customers, as well as from some naive souls.
I would suppose I must be some sort of expert on the scams Filipinas will try to get money out of us foreigners since I've been in the Philippines for 7 years. I've probably heard about them all. I would say it is about time I listed them.
1. FILIPINAS LIKE TO SAY THEY WILL GO MOST ANYWHERE AND DO MOST ANYTHING to be with you on any given date you like, but the catch is they want to get the cash from you to buy the tickets or whatever and then not show up or give some lame excuse. ..... DON'T SEND CASH.... for much more than a birthday or internet chat. Something like this just happened to a friend over a house helper offer he made to a Filipina. He has special needs and had bought tickets for her and a friend to fly to Manila to help take care of him during recovery from surgery. At the last minute she asked for half a months pay. He offered to send it to her Mom. She must not have liked that because she didn't show up for the plane ride.
2. There is always someone SICK OR STARVING IN THE FAMILY, So, one way or another a cash contribution will come up. Often they don't even mention money. Some are pretty smart and use ways to get you to offer money. Members of the family and boyfriends can be behind this scam too..... DON'T SEND MUCH CASH, if any.
3. Offering a hot boogie boogie when you show up and then BRINGING ONE OR MORE FRIENDS OR THEIR MOM AND KID and then some excuse why no boogie boogie. I've never had this happen to me personally in Phil, but in the states an offer from a very hot looking lady turned out not to be the one that showed up at the door. Luckily I was smart enough to mention the wrong hotel room and could see her through the peep hole. This is also a good way to catch Filipinas with boyfriends ready to rob you when you open the door. Just tell them it's the room across the hall. If there is a guy keeping himself out of the peep hole view, call the front desk and ask them to call the police.
4. MORE THAN ONE GUY FOR CHAT. I've seen this dozens of times in internet cafes back when I had no internet service to the house. Expect it. Trust but verify somehow after you show up in Phil. Falling in love 9000 miles away is risky. There are plenty of good ones around. Just be patient. Have back up plans.
5. GIVING YOU THE WRONG ADDRESS HERE! Usually this means the Filipina has a boyfriend or is married. You may find this out if you wire any money because they will have to have proper ID to collect it. This happened to me except when she said send it to another name (her first name and a different last name), I got suspicious and broke it off.
6. SENDING YOU NUDE OR SKIMPY DRESSED PICS OR CAM SHOWS is a pretty good sign you don't want much to do with that Filipina.
7. MANY GAY AND SHE MALES HERE, so expect the unexpected.
8. BUILDING HOUSE AND BUYING CARS AND FURNITURE... if you get a lot of talk about these things, BEWARE. Take your time even after you are married. She is supposed to enjoy being with you no matter where you live and no matter what you have.9. DON'T KEEP VALUABLES AT HOME or you are inviting someone to round up some criminals to come in and take things. There have been some stories of wives giving enough details for crooks to know exactly where you keep everything. One Australian had a loan business in Iloilo. Mysteriously the back door was unlocked, so guys came in while he was asleep and tried to make him open the safe. He wouldn't do it, so they killed him. It got opened anyway because his wife knew the combination and is suspected of setting the whole thing up. DON'T TRUST ANYONE OVER HERE UNTIL YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY SURE. EVEN THEN IT IS BETTER TO USE A BANK LOCK BOX AND CASH DROP.
I'm sure there are lots of other incidents that have happened. BLIND TRUST IS NOT A GOOD IDEA!
Aren’t there enough Filipino men in the country good enough for some Filipino women (Filipinas)? As far as I know, there is no shortage of Filipino men and I haven’t heard of any reports that say there is an imbalance in the sex ratio that would compel some Filipinas to seek men from overseas either. But what could be forcing some Filipinas to look for partners from foreign lands? I’m sure the reason is not just limited to financial aspects because I know a lot of successful professional Filipinas with their own money who are also married to foreign men. It would be wrong then for others to assume that these women only married for money.
Yes, there are Filipinas, those who belong to the lower end of the socio-economic classes who view men from first world countries as a “good catch” because of the superiority of the currency these men have in their bank accounts. But to be sure, there are also some foreign men who come to the Philippines to take advantage of naive Filipinas. Unfortunately, Filipinas seem to have acquired a reputation for being heartbreakers and gold diggers among single foreign men who are seeking true love in Asia.
A bowerbird and his bachelor pad
Even Jasmine Lee, a Filipina who married a South Korean national and then became the first naturalized Korean to become a lawmaker in South Korea, is said to have become a target of “racist” and “xenophobic” attacks on the Internet. Reports have surfaced stating that some Korean Netizens are reacting negatively to her new post with someone Tweeting: “Following the immigrant wife Lee’s entry to the Assembly, we can well predict the rise of unregistered foreigners and foreign women marrying in return for money. We’ll see the truth of multiculturalism that exploits Koreans.” It is unfortunate that the Filipina’s reputation has been tainted to the point of affecting even highly-educated and professional women like Lee. I recently read a post from a site called Hub Pages written by someone who was obviously very bitter about his own experience with Filipinas. His primary reason for writing the article is to warn other foreign men from getting involved with women from the Philippines. Although I was disappointed to read his article, I can’t blame him for his generalization because I’ve heard a lot of anecdotal and actual reports around that seem to validate the writer’s views. I heard, for example, that Internet Cafes are swarming with Filipinas chatting up western men online. This is part of the dire post from the site:
Pinays’ most common goal is to make Americans fall in love with them and have the men marry and bring them to the United States for good, where they will settle down and enjoy the good life that the country offers. When they succeed, they will continue to stick with their men for a little longer until they obtain their alien registration card (green card). Upon obtaining this precious green card, they will abandon their men and look for the ones they really like. Infuriating huh? Due to this, Pinays can be considered to be opportunistics, who use their wits to continuously take advantage of the men who really believe they’re not being loved for their money.
Indeed, for many foreign nationals, the road to matrimony is fraught with difficulties especially when they are dealing with someone they barely know from a culture that is totally alien to their own. And this dilemma is not just limited to Filipinas. Anyone experiencing hardship in their own country will turn up their survival instincts and resort to all kinds of things just to get a ticket out of their misery. This phenomenon is not exclusive to Filipinos. Russian brides, anyone? Who can forget Nicole Kidman’s role in the film Birthday Girl as a Russian mail-order bride to a British guy. Nicole’s character accentuated the reputation of the typical Russian women from poor backgrounds who do whatever it takes to get out of their wretched existence. In the film, it turns out that the Russian mail-order bride is just a front for a crook to extort money from unsuspecting men.
I do feel sorry for men who get lured into a relationship by women who just want to scam money out of them. But hey, men do it to women too. Sometimes desperation can quickly turn anyone into a calloused con artist. However, as they say, it takes two to tango. A wise man would suss out the real situation first before getting involved with someone. Anyone can try to pull a fast one but it is likely the fool who falls victim to a predator.
Anyway, I strongly suggest that those who are feeling sorry that they got duped should also take a bit of personal responsibility for their own mistake. They don’t have to continue feeling bitter about their experience. They just need to move on. Even Marvin Gaye admitted that everybody plays the fool. The novelist Jane Austen also wrote about being a fool for love. For those who are not familiar with the novel or the film adaptation of her highly celebrated book, Pride and Prejudice, here are some of her most famous opening lines:
IT is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighborhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.
Jane Austen may have written those classic lines in the 19th century but her message rings true to this day. Other writers may put in their own little twist or nuance when they tackle romantic love stories, but most of them still work around the same premise of Austen’s storyline. For whether one acknowledges it or not, a man who is loaded with cash, property or stocks makes himself a magnet for all kinds of rackets, many of them coming in the guise of true love — which is why it is still better to use other means of attracting a partner as alternatives to waving money around. If a man chooses to use his fortune to secure a partner, he should be prepared to accept that he will likely to have been chosen solely for his money alone.
Who wouldn’t want their own Fitzwilliam Darcy or “Mr. Darcy”? Even if you overlook his character in Austen’s novel being a single good-looking man in possession of a good fortune; he oozes with sex appeal nonetheless. His appeal it seems has less to do with his good looks and his fortune, and more to do with the air of authority others feel when he enters the room. This is also true in real life. Sometimes when a person walks around looking unimpressed or aloof; people find that person more intriguing and more fascinating.
This is not to suggest that we should favor someone with a snotty disposition; it’s about being selective about the kind of people who you want to deal with. After all, who wants to waste their time engaging in shallow conversations about petty and trivial pursuits? In other words, it’s about having substance. And people who have substance can spot someone who has substance a mile a way. In Austen’s book, it was ultimately substance that helped Mr. Darcy overcome his prejudice and fall for someone below his class standing in society, Ms. Elizabeth Bennet. And despite his wealth, it was substance that helped Elizabeth overcome her own pride and fall for Mr. Darcy.
In the animal kingdom, the art of attracting a mate is not too different from that applied by humans. One of Sir David Frederick Attenborough’s documentaries on his Life series shows how the male bowerbird uses its decorating skills to show-off by creating some kind of “bachelor pad” in its effort to attract a partner:
To attract a partner, the male bowerbird builds and decorates an elaborate nest, which can take weeks to assemble. The bower — a structure woven around a sapling that looks almost like a wooden tent — is carpeted with moss and decorated with flowers, colorful insects, fungi or even dung depending on each bird’s design sensibilities.
While the bowerbird may go through a lot of trouble to make himself presentable to a female, this doesn’t necessarily mean that all of his time and effort will pay off. Other males generally construct bowers nearby, and their sense of style and song may be more along the lines of what a female bowerbird is looking for.
It is interesting to note that all that effort to show-off has an evolutionary purpose. The female would naturally choose someone who she thinks has the most attractive or the strongest characteristics. This is applying the assumption that someone who possesses the better characteristics will likely pass on the genes that produce them. More importantly, individuals who exhibit those characteristics are likely to possess the fitness and strength that make them superior carers for their offspring. So therefore, women who go for men who seem to possess strong characteristics should not be frowned upon. Women merely act on preferences honed by evolution to instinctively look out for their welfare and the welfare of their future family.
Going back to Filipino men, what therefore makes some of them so unappealing could be the fact that they are not raised to be real men. They come across as deficient in testosterone on account of the way they just drink and hang around instead of work hard to give their family a decent life. Some of them just let their wives do all the work, which could mean going overseas to work as domestic helpers while their husbands spend what little money they have on vices. This could have something to do with an undiagnosed narcissistic disorder afflicting a lot of Filipino men.
Indeed, it was global media outlet CNN International that concluded that Filipino men are the most narcissistic in Asia. An inflated sense of self-importance and an extreme preoccupation with themselves could be the reason why more and more Filipinas are seeking partners overseas.